APA Social Media Recommendations
A few days ago, the American Psychological Association released recommendations on social media use for adolescents. This was long overdue. Parents have been scratching their heads on how to deal with their teens’ social media use for over a decade. After all, they didn’t have the experience of using social media as teens themselves. The health advisory finally provided helpful, research–backed guidelines. But they missed one key element.
The most important thing you can do to minimize the damage of social media for your children is to have a strong relationship with them. The guidelines provided by the APA – which covers things like teaching digital literacy, reducing exposure to inappropriate material, and limiting social comparison – all assume that your child wants to talk to you about this stuff. But if they don’t feel comfortable talking to you, all they will do is nod along when you talk about the guidelines.
Tips to Help Your Child Talk About Social Media
So how can you make sure that your child wants to talk to you about their social media use? Here are three guidelines we believe can help you with this:
- Help Them Feel Comfortable Approaching You
Put yourself in your teen’s shoes. Who would you more likely approach? A parent who reprimands and preaches to you every time you bring up bad social media experiences? Or a parent who listens and provides guidance? Setting limits is an important element of parenting. But if you don’t couple that with a warm relationship that fosters communication, your child will likely seek support from someone else.
- Be Realistic About Social Media Use
As the APA social media guidelines point out, social media use isn’t inherently good or bad. When talking to your teen about their social media use, make sure to point out the positive aspects of it as well. This can include finding people with shared interests, learning about in-person social events they can attend, and sharing funny material with family and friends. By doing this, your child will recognize you are being more honest about social media. This will help when you talk about the negative aspects.
- Ask Them to Talk About Their Social Media Use
Younger children tend to do better with simple limits and instructions. Teens are much different. They are becoming more independent and want to be respected as their own individual. To make them feel this way, ask them questions about their social media use so they can express their own opinions about it. This will make them feel heard and understood. This will also keep the door open for them to approach you in the future.
A few questions to ask are:
- Who do you follow on social media?
- What do you like about that influencer?
- Do you think social media is good for your friends? (This can help them talk about themselves through the perspective of their friends).
- What do you think should be different about social media?
- What does healthy social media use mean to you?
Remember – Relationship is Key
These simple steps can be a good foundation for your child wanting to approach you about problems they encounter using social media. Remember – if your child doesn’t want to talk to you about social media, then these guidelines will only be helpful to you.
